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The Monday Morning Coffee Archives

Every Monday morning during the academic year, the dedicated graduate student volunteers of the Coffee Collective usher in the new week with the Monday Morning Coffee. Three kinds of gourmet, fresh-roasted, ground and brewed just-in-time coffees, are served (in, and) with edible toroids: various types of bagels (with cream cheese) and donuts. Occasionally, there is orange juice and also mini-muffins.

The advent of the MMC event is announced by electronic mail to the farthest confines of the department, for it is hard to remember anything on a caffeine-deprived Monday morning.

To [un]subscribe, send e-mail to majordomo @ cs . umass . edu with "[un]subscribe monday-morning-coffee your-email-address".
To communicate with the current coffee collective, you can email coffee-collective @ ccs . cs . umass . edu

Spring 2002
  • Help Ivana K. Offee find Dr. Cal Feene Allison Clayton
  • Chopin-like mood music Allison Clayton
  • Alaskan folk mood music Allison Clayton
  • Latin mood music Allison Clayton
  • Tragically-hip mood music Allison Clayton
  • Ode on a Bagel Allison Clayton
  • A Yummy Donut Glaze Allison Clayton
  • Happy Earth Day! Allison Clayton
  • Unruly-college-student mood music Allison Clayton
  • Cookie's Fortune Allison Clayton
  • Broadway to Buy the UMass Computer Science Department Allison Clayton
  • Puzzle solutions Allison Clayton

  • Coffee Czars: Randy Casstevens and Song Li
    Doughnut Duke: Martin Allen
    Bagel Baron: Kazu Hirata
    Bean Burgher: Jerod Weinman
    Message Meister: Allison Clayton
    Fall 2001
  • Monday Morning Coffee in 5 minutes Kelly Porpiglia
  • Monday Mourning--A Tragedy in One Act Jad Davis
  • Monday Morning, live Jad Davis
  • Coffee and the Ugly American Jad Davis
  • Coffee 2 minutes ago! Jad Davis
  • A turkey-free MMC in 5 minutes Kelly Porpiglia
  • MMC NOW! Kelly Porpiglia
  • Oh my lord. Look at you. Jad Davis
  • Life is now being served downstairs Jad Davis

  • Coffee Czars: Abhishek Chandra and Daniel Ratton Figuerido
    Doughnut Duke: Martin Allen
    Bagel Baron: Michael O'Neill
    Bean Burgher: Matt Rattigan
    Message Meister: Jad Davis
    Spring 2001
  • Save your crack--coffee is back Jad "/dev/null" Davis
  • Coffee Quenches the Need for Speed Jad "/dev/null" Davis
  • Monday Morning What? Jad "/dev/null" Davis
  • Coffee in five minutes! This is not a drill! Jad "/dev/null" Davis
  • The Storm Approaches, and Quickly Jad "/dev/null" Davis

  • Coffee Czarina: Hannah Blau
    Coffee Czar: Xianglong Huang
    Doughnut Duke: Asjad Khan
    Bagel Baron: Brent Heeringa
    Bean Burgher: Rob Platt
    Message Meister: Jad Davis
    Fall 2000
  • You are now entering the Java Zone Paul Dickson
  • Battle Hymn of the Coffee Paul Dickson
  • Emergency Coffee System Paul Dickson
  • definition of Coffee Paul Dickson
  • MMC presents Monday is Coffee Paul Dickson
  • Rich black morning love Paul Dickson
  • Once upon a coffee Paul Dickson
  • Coffee code, feed into brain Paul Dickson
  • In the begining Paul Dickson
  • Your daily fix Paul Dickson
  • Monday Morning Coffee Paul Dickson
  • You might need some coffee if... Paul Dickson

  • Coffee Czars: Marc Pickett and Andy Arnt
    Doughnut Duke: Kat Hanna
    Bagel Baron: Jen Neville
    Bean Burgher: Pippin Wolfe
    Message Meister: Paul Dickson
    Spring 2000
  • Liquid Fire Jad "/dev/null" Davis
  • H-Hour for Coffee is NOW Jad "/dev/null" Davis
  • Valentine's Coffee Jad "/dev/null" Davis
  • Behold, unto you coffee is brought Jad "/dev/null" Davis
  • Coffee in 5, or "Have you appreciated stoneware pottery today?" Jad "/dev/null" Davis
  • Coffee in 5, come, wraiths, and feast. Jad "/dev/null" Davis
  • Coffee--Same Bat-time, Same Bat-channel Jad "/dev/null" Davis

  • Coffee Czars: Brent Heeringa and Kelly Porpiglia
    Doughnut Duke: Ashvin Shah
    Bagel Baron: John Ridgway
    Bean Burgher: Nandini Natarajan
    Message Meister: Jad Davis
    Fall 1999
  • No messages on record
  • Spring 1999
  • No messages on record
  • Fall 1998
  • coffee is ready
  • Coffee Reduction Notice based on a message from Steve Cook
  • For Mature Audiences Only

  • Coffee Czarina: Dawn Lawrie
    Coffee Czar: Agustín Schapira
    Bagel Baron: Bill Hesse
    Bean Bürgerin: Lisa Ballesteros
    Duke of Doughnuts: Lewis McCarthy
    Message Meister: T. Friedman
    Spring 1998
  • No messages on record.

  • Coffee Czar: Shri-not-again-kumar
    Coffee Czar: Bill Hesse
    Bagel Baron: Eric McCall
    Bean Burgher: Lisa Ballesteros
    Donut Duke: Brett Benyo
    Message Meister: Leo Zelevinsky
    Fall 1997
  • I'm tired unattributed, via Matt Schmill
  • Knowledge = Power? unattributed, via Wendy Cooper
  • Smart Criminal News of the Weird
  • Bagel Trivia "Bagels for All" via Matt Schmill
  • Columbus Day Matt Schmill
  • Microsoft Lightbulbs Unattributed, via Matt Schmill
  • Coffee Capillary Flow Nature via Bryan Horling
  • No coffee next week Matteo Schmill
  • Spider Web Patterns Matt Schmill
  • Portfolio Day Matt Schmill
  • How to write good Sally Bulford via Matt Schmill
  • Apple's C Compiler Errors Bruce Hoult via comp.sys.mac.programmer
  • OS comparisons Unattributed, via Matt Schmill
  • Santa Claus, a Scientific Assessment Unattributted, via Mike Chia

  • Coffee Czarina: Adriana Mincheva
    Coffee Czar: Agustín Schapira
    Bagel Baroness & Complementary Coffee Czarina: Crystal Evenstar
    Bean Burgher & Doughnut Duke: Lewis McCarthy
    Message Meister: Matt Schmill
    Spring 1997
  • Happy virtual Monday Miranda Barrows
  • Freezing and Thawing Miranda Barrows
  • Profs from the dark side Karen D. via Miranda Barrows
  • Duty Calls Commonwealth of Massachusetts & Miranda Barrows
  • Brazil Factoids Reuter via Sue Bok Moon & Miranda Barrows
  • Poetry for Computers Fred Bremmer & Steve Kroese via Sharad Singhai
  • Pyramids from Outer Space unattributed, via Lew McCarthy
  • Coffee for Patriots Miranda Barrows
  • Post-Patriot Coffee Mr. ASCII, via Miranda Barrows
  • Caffeine High Darwin Awards
  • Taking it Black unattributted, via Miranda Barrows
  • Moo! unattributted, via Jitu Padhye

  • Coffee Czarina: Sue Bok Moon
    Coffee Co-Czar: Cris Pedregal Martin
    Bagel Baron: Brendon Cahoon
    Bean Boss: Lisa Ballesteros
    Doughnut Duke: Lewis McCarthy
    Message Mistress: Miranda Barrows
    Fall 1996
  • Coffee Rituals Cris Pedregal M
  • New Collective, New Titles? Miranda Barrows & Cris Pedregal M
  • Autumn equinox and hiking Cris Pedregal M
  • Kauphy, 3 Trivia Miranda Barrows & Cris Pedregal M
  • Chic Coffee Conclave Cris Pedregal M
  • No Monday this week, MMC on Tuesday Cris Pedregal M
  • A Virtuous Week Starts with Coffee Online Thesaurus & Cris Pedregal M
  • A Friday Tradition Sir C. L. Nitram
  • Coffee and Standard Time Cris Pedregal M & USNO
  • Elections 1996 Jay Corbett
  • Coffee vs. Ballots Cris Pedregal M & The New York Times
  • Collegian Interviews M. Meister Cris Pedregal M
  • On Electronic Mail Geoff Nunberg
  • First snow of the season Robert Frost
  • Too much to thank for... Cris Pedregal M
  • Wet snow! and perhaps coffee Cris Pedregal M

  • Coffee Czar: John Cavazos
    Bagel Baroness: Amy McGovern
    Bean Burgher: Jitu Padhye
    Doughnut Duke: Bryan Horling
    Message Meister: Cris Pedregal Martin
    Message Mistress: Miranda Barrows
    Spring and Summer 1996
  • First Day, Last Day Jenny Holzer
  • How Cold is it? anonymous
  • Shrikumar I Cris Pedregal M
  • Internet Leap Year Cleanup & Errata anonymous
  • Just-in-time brewing Cris Pedregal M & Amer. Her. Dict.
  • Menu Expansion: OJ (orange juice) Cris Pedregal M
  • Expanding the Menu even more! Cris Pedregal M
  • Pareil Tale Jack Winter
  • Boston Marathon unattributed
  • Coffee Health News Reuter via ClariNet
  • New Old Scrolls GOD
  • Course Surveys at MIT MIT Folklore
  • Endangered Software anonymous via Gene Spafford
  • Virtual Rialto Geoff Nunberg
  • Summer Renewal! Patrick Sobalvarro
  • Yes! Summer MMC! Cris Pedregal M

  • Coffee Czar: Shri I (Shrikumar H...............)
    Bagel Baron: John V. E. Ridgway
    Bean Burgher: Cris Pedregal Martin
    Doughnut Duke: Supratik Bhattacharyya
    Message Meister: Cris Pedregal Martin ("reelected")
    Fall 1995
  • The Dawn of a New Era Cris Pedregal M
  • How to partake of coffee Miss Manners
  • Virtual Monday and a voicemail message anonymous
  • An old grant proposal Cris Pedregal M
  • Toroids! Toroids! Cris Pedregal M & Webster's
  • E-Mail as evidence: the dangers of broadcast Boston Globe via Comp.Risks
  • New Bagels; T-Shirt Instructions anonymous
  • Bagel Review Sandy Wise
  • Trip Report: Bagels under stress Cris Pedregal M
  • Caffeine Dangers, or What's in a name? William Shakespeare & Cris Pedregal M
  • Burn some calories! anonymous
  • Drop in attendance Cris Pedregal M
  • Winter is here Robert Frost

  • Coffee Czar: Jim Havlicek
    Bagel Baron: Eric McCall
    Bean Burgher: Rajesh Prabhu
    Doughnut Duke: Matt Schmill
    Message Meister: Cris Pedregal Martin (by coup d'état)
    Spring 1995
  • Dress-up Fridays Lewis McCarthy
  • Cookies Table, GSS Elections Lewis McCarthy & Cris Pedregal M

  • Coffee Czar: John Ridgway
    Bagel Baroness: Jean Beardsley
    Bean Burgher: Kousha Etessami
    Doughnut Duke: Tim Oates
    Message Meister: Lewis McCarthy
    Fall 1994
  • No messages on record

  • Coffee Czar: Gokhan Kutlu
    Coffee Czarina: Sue Bok Moon (temporary)
    Spring 1994
  • Dissertation Blues Paul Callahan
  • Chunnel Opens Lewis McCarthy

  • Coffee Czar: Frank Klassner
    Of note: Klassner acquires several
    thermos bottles and introduces buffering
    (coffeecaches) to the brewing process.
    Fall 1991
  • Renaming the Department Ben Hurwitz
  • ncm(1) -- (Essential Fluids) anonymous
  • English is tough stuff NATO via Tom Kalt

  • Coffee Czar: Norm Walsh
    Spring 1991
  • The World According to Computer Science Ben Hurwitz
  • Turing test revisited Ben Hurwitz
  • New AI Domains Ben Hurwitz
  • Excuses for Failing the Comps Ben Hurwitz
  • To brew, or not to brew Jay Corbett
  • Shame on COINS! Ben Hurwitz
  • COINS Movies Ben Hurwitz
  • Passover Ben Hurwitz
  • Pres. Bush sick Ben Hurwitz
  • Space Walk Ben Hurwitz
  • Spring Picnic Ben Hurwitz
  • Spring Concert Ben Hurwitz

  • Coffee Czar: Joe McCarthy
    Message Meister: Ben Jammin' Hurwitz
    Fall 1990
  • How the Grinch stole Who-Mass Jay Corbett
  • Critic's review of the classic "How the Grinch stole Who-Mass" Jay Corbett
  • Plato on The Espresso Jay Corbett

  • Coffee Czar: Joe McCarthy
    Message Meister: Jay Corbett
    (post created for him)
    Spring 1990
  • Graduate Elections: A Vintage Call Jay Corbett
  • Physical Plant drops Connection Machine Jay Corbett
  • Corbett kidnapped! Jay Corbett
  • Site Visit Poster Jay Corbett
  • Tofu Jay Corbett
  • Bad Subjects drink before it's finished brewing Jay Corbett

  • Coffee Czar: Jay Corbett

    Compiled by Cris Pedregal Martin and Kelly Porpiglia
    Last update: 09-15-02

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    | Page last updated on: Nov. 3, 2003