The Monday Morning Coffee Archives

Every Monday morning during the academic year, the dedicated graduate student volunteers of the Coffee Collective usher in the new week with the Monday Morning Coffee. Three kinds of gourmet, fresh-roasted, ground and brewed just-in-time coffees, are served (in, and) with edible toroids: various types of bagels (with cream cheese) and donuts. Occasionally, there is orange juice and also mini-muffins.

The advent of the MMC event is announced by electronic mail to the farthest confines of the department, for it is hard to remember anything on a caffeine-deprived Monday morning.

To [un]subscribe, send e-mail to majordomo @ cs . umass . edu with "[un]subscribe monday-morning-coffee your-email-address".
To communicate with the current coffee collective, you can email coffee-collective @ ccs . cs . umass . edu

Spring 2002
Help Ivana K. Offee find Dr. Cal Feene Allison Clayton Chopin-like mood music Allison Clayton Alaskan folk mood music Allison Clayton Latin mood music Allison Clayton Tragically-hip mood music Allison Clayton Ode on a Bagel Allison Clayton A Yummy Donut Glaze Allison Clayton Happy Earth Day! Allison Clayton Unruly-college-student mood music Allison Clayton Cookie's Fortune Allison Clayton Broadway to Buy the UMass Computer Science Department Allison Clayton Puzzle solutions Allison Clayton	Coffee Czars: Randy Casstevens and Song Li Doughnut Duke: Martin Allen Bagel Baron: Kazu Hirata Bean Burgher: Jerod Weinman Message Meister: Allison Clayton
Fall 2001
Monday Morning Coffee in 5 minutes Kelly Porpiglia Monday Mourning--A Tragedy in One Act Jad Davis Monday Morning, live Jad Davis Coffee and the Ugly American Jad Davis Coffee 2 minutes ago! Jad Davis A turkey-free MMC in 5 minutes Kelly Porpiglia MMC NOW! Kelly Porpiglia Oh my lord. Look at you. Jad Davis Life is now being served downstairs Jad Davis	Coffee Czars: Abhishek Chandra and Daniel Ratton Figuerido Doughnut Duke: Martin Allen Bagel Baron: Michael O'Neill Bean Burgher: Matt Rattigan Message Meister: Jad Davis
Spring 2001
Save your crack--coffee is back Jad "/dev/null" Davis Coffee Quenches the Need for Speed Jad "/dev/null" Davis Monday Morning What? Jad "/dev/null" Davis Coffee in five minutes! This is not a drill! Jad "/dev/null" Davis The Storm Approaches, and Quickly Jad "/dev/null" Davis	Coffee Czarina: Hannah Blau Coffee Czar: Xianglong Huang Doughnut Duke: Asjad Khan Bagel Baron: Brent Heeringa Bean Burgher: Rob Platt Message Meister: Jad Davis
Fall 2000
You are now entering the Java Zone Paul Dickson Battle Hymn of the Coffee Paul Dickson Emergency Coffee System Paul Dickson definition of Coffee Paul Dickson MMC presents Monday is Coffee Paul Dickson Rich black morning love Paul Dickson Once upon a coffee Paul Dickson Coffee code, feed into brain Paul Dickson In the begining Paul Dickson Your daily fix Paul Dickson Monday Morning Coffee Paul Dickson You might need some coffee if... Paul Dickson	Coffee Czars: Marc Pickett and Andy Arnt Doughnut Duke: Kat Hanna Bagel Baron: Jen Neville Bean Burgher: Pippin Wolfe Message Meister: Paul Dickson
Spring 2000
Liquid Fire Jad "/dev/null" Davis H-Hour for Coffee is NOW Jad "/dev/null" Davis Valentine's Coffee Jad "/dev/null" Davis Behold, unto you coffee is brought Jad "/dev/null" Davis Coffee in 5, or "Have you appreciated stoneware pottery today?" Jad "/dev/null" Davis Coffee in 5, come, wraiths, and feast. Jad "/dev/null" Davis Coffee--Same Bat-time, Same Bat-channel Jad "/dev/null" Davis	Coffee Czars: Brent Heeringa and Kelly Porpiglia Doughnut Duke: Ashvin Shah Bagel Baron: John Ridgway Bean Burgher: Nandini Natarajan Message Meister: Jad Davis
Fall 1999
No messages on record
Spring 1999
No messages on record
Fall 1998
coffee is ready Coffee Reduction Notice based on a message from Steve Cook For Mature Audiences Only	Coffee Czarina: Dawn Lawrie Coffee Czar: Agustín Schapira Bagel Baron: Bill Hesse Bean Bürgerin: Lisa Ballesteros Duke of Doughnuts: Lewis McCarthy Message Meister: T. Friedman
Spring 1998
No messages on record.	Coffee Czar: Shri-not-again-kumar Coffee Czar: Bill Hesse Bagel Baron: Eric McCall Bean Burgher: Lisa Ballesteros Donut Duke: Brett Benyo Message Meister: Leo Zelevinsky
Fall 1997
I'm tired unattributed, via Matt Schmill Knowledge = Power? unattributed, via Wendy Cooper Smart Criminal News of the Weird Bagel Trivia "Bagels for All" via Matt Schmill Columbus Day Matt Schmill Microsoft Lightbulbs Unattributed, via Matt Schmill Coffee Capillary Flow Nature via Bryan Horling No coffee next week Matteo Schmill Spider Web Patterns Matt Schmill Portfolio Day Matt Schmill How to write good Sally Bulford via Matt Schmill Apple's C Compiler Errors Bruce Hoult via comp.sys.mac.programmer OS comparisons Unattributed, via Matt Schmill Santa Claus, a Scientific Assessment Unattributted, via Mike Chia	Coffee Czarina: Adriana Mincheva Coffee Czar: Agustín Schapira Bagel Baroness & Complementary Coffee Czarina: Crystal Evenstar Bean Burgher & Doughnut Duke: Lewis McCarthy Message Meister: Matt Schmill
Spring 1997
Happy virtual Monday Miranda Barrows Freezing and Thawing Miranda Barrows Profs from the dark side Karen D. via Miranda Barrows Duty Calls Commonwealth of Massachusetts & Miranda Barrows Brazil Factoids Reuter via Sue Bok Moon & Miranda Barrows Poetry for Computers Fred Bremmer & Steve Kroese via Sharad Singhai Pyramids from Outer Space unattributed, via Lew McCarthy Coffee for Patriots Miranda Barrows Post-Patriot Coffee Mr. ASCII, via Miranda Barrows Caffeine High Darwin Awards Taking it Black unattributted, via Miranda Barrows Moo! unattributted, via Jitu Padhye	Coffee Czarina: Sue Bok Moon Coffee Co-Czar: Cris Pedregal Martin Bagel Baron: Brendon Cahoon Bean Boss: Lisa Ballesteros Doughnut Duke: Lewis McCarthy Message Mistress: Miranda Barrows
Fall 1996
Coffee Rituals Cris Pedregal M New Collective, New Titles? Miranda Barrows & Cris Pedregal M Autumn equinox and hiking Cris Pedregal M Kauphy, 3 Trivia Miranda Barrows & Cris Pedregal M Chic Coffee Conclave Cris Pedregal M No Monday this week, MMC on Tuesday Cris Pedregal M A Virtuous Week Starts with Coffee Online Thesaurus & Cris Pedregal M A Friday Tradition Sir C. L. Nitram Coffee and Standard Time Cris Pedregal M & USNO Elections 1996 Jay Corbett Coffee vs. Ballots Cris Pedregal M & The New York Times Collegian Interviews M. Meister Cris Pedregal M On Electronic Mail Geoff Nunberg First snow of the season Robert Frost Too much to thank for... Cris Pedregal M Wet snow! and perhaps coffee Cris Pedregal M	Coffee Czar: John Cavazos Bagel Baroness: Amy McGovern Bean Burgher: Jitu Padhye Doughnut Duke: Bryan Horling Message Meister: Cris Pedregal Martin Message Mistress: Miranda Barrows
Spring and Summer 1996
First Day, Last Day Jenny Holzer How Cold is it? anonymous Shrikumar I Cris Pedregal M Internet Leap Year Cleanup & Errata anonymous Just-in-time brewing Cris Pedregal M & Amer. Her. Dict. Menu Expansion: OJ (orange juice) Cris Pedregal M Expanding the Menu even more! Cris Pedregal M Pareil Tale Jack Winter Boston Marathon unattributed Coffee Health News Reuter via ClariNet New Old Scrolls GOD Course Surveys at MIT MIT Folklore Endangered Software anonymous via Gene Spafford Virtual Rialto Geoff Nunberg Summer Renewal! Patrick Sobalvarro Yes! Summer MMC! Cris Pedregal M	Coffee Czar: Shri I (Shrikumar H...............) Bagel Baron: John V. E. Ridgway Bean Burgher: Cris Pedregal Martin Doughnut Duke: Supratik Bhattacharyya Message Meister: Cris Pedregal Martin ("reelected")
Fall 1995
The Dawn of a New Era Cris Pedregal M How to partake of coffee Miss Manners Virtual Monday and a voicemail message anonymous An old grant proposal Cris Pedregal M Toroids! Toroids! Cris Pedregal M & Webster's E-Mail as evidence: the dangers of broadcast Boston Globe via Comp.Risks New Bagels; T-Shirt Instructions anonymous Bagel Review Sandy Wise Trip Report: Bagels under stress Cris Pedregal M Caffeine Dangers, or What's in a name? William Shakespeare & Cris Pedregal M Burn some calories! anonymous Drop in attendance Cris Pedregal M Winter is here Robert Frost	Coffee Czar: Jim Havlicek Bagel Baron: Eric McCall Bean Burgher: Rajesh Prabhu Doughnut Duke: Matt Schmill Message Meister: Cris Pedregal Martin (by coup d'état)
Spring 1995
Dress-up Fridays Lewis McCarthy Cookies Table, GSS Elections Lewis McCarthy & Cris Pedregal M	Coffee Czar: John Ridgway Bagel Baroness: Jean Beardsley Bean Burgher: Kousha Etessami Doughnut Duke: Tim Oates Message Meister: Lewis McCarthy
Fall 1994
No messages on record	Coffee Czar: Gokhan Kutlu Coffee Czarina: Sue Bok Moon (temporary)
Spring 1994
Dissertation Blues Paul Callahan Chunnel Opens Lewis McCarthy	Coffee Czar: Frank Klassner Of note: Klassner acquires several thermos bottles and introduces buffering (coffeecaches) to the brewing process.
Fall 1991
Renaming the Department Ben Hurwitz ncm(1) -- (Essential Fluids) anonymous English is tough stuff NATO via Tom Kalt	Coffee Czar: Norm Walsh
Spring 1991
The World According to Computer Science Ben Hurwitz Turing test revisited Ben Hurwitz New AI Domains Ben Hurwitz Excuses for Failing the Comps Ben Hurwitz To brew, or not to brew Jay Corbett Shame on COINS! Ben Hurwitz COINS Movies Ben Hurwitz Passover Ben Hurwitz Pres. Bush sick Ben Hurwitz Space Walk Ben Hurwitz Spring Picnic Ben Hurwitz Spring Concert Ben Hurwitz	Coffee Czar: Joe McCarthy Message Meister: Ben Jammin' Hurwitz
Fall 1990
How the Grinch stole Who-Mass Jay Corbett Critic's review of the classic "How the Grinch stole Who-Mass" Jay Corbett Plato on The Espresso Jay Corbett	Coffee Czar: Joe McCarthy Message Meister: Jay Corbett (post created for him)
Spring 1990
Graduate Elections: A Vintage Call Jay Corbett Physical Plant drops Connection Machine Jay Corbett Corbett kidnapped! Jay Corbett Site Visit Poster Jay Corbett Tofu Jay Corbett Bad Subjects drink before it's finished brewing Jay Corbett	Coffee Czar: Jay Corbett

Compiled by Cris Pedregal Martin and Kelly Porpiglia
Last update: 09-15-02

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| Page last updated on: Nov. 3, 2003