[At some point, Bush got sick (maybe that time in Japan?), inspiring this:]

Early-Morning Edicts from President Quayle

- I hereby appoint my Dad as the new vice-president
- We are trading Nebraska to Japan for the Nintendo Corporation
- Chewing gum is permissible anywhere, anytime (yay!)
- Everyone will change underwear six times a day.  Furthermore,
  underwear will be worn on the outside, so we can check!
  [Dan must have seen "Bananas"]
- The New York Times must start carrying the funnies
- Nation's capital will be changed to Indiana
- Disneyland will be moved to camp David
- As I promised, there will be no Jimmy Carter grain embargo. Jimmy,
  Jimmy Carter, Jimmy Carter grain embargo, Jimmy Carter grain embargo.
- Everyone has to stop making fun of me