Date: Tue, 12 Nov 91 09:53:26 -0500 From: email@example.com Subject: (Virtual) Monday Morning Coffee Good Morning! This is a virtual Monday! Coffee, Donuts, and Bagels will be ready and waiting at around 10:05 this morning. Also, this just in from humor central (actually, I dug it up somewhere out there on the net and thought it was pretty funny): NCM(1) (Essential Fluids) NCM(1) NAME ncm - new coffee maker SYNOPSIS ncm [ -RadCxmlnogrtucpFbqisf ] [caf|decaf|columbian] DESCRIPTION For each available heating unit, ncm determines if coffee exists, is hot, and is not tar(4). If any of these are true, the necessary actions are taken to change the situation as required, or as specified by the environment variable BURNERS. ncp then gathers the necessary material and proceeds. The -M option makes coffee in the morning. The drinkinfo(4) database is used to determine the blend and the amount of caffeine, based on the environment variables DRINK, TZ, and the current time. If this information cannot be obtained, full strength Maxwell House is assumed. The ncm command has many, many more than the following options, not all of which are currently supported. Some may never be supported. We are really busy here, and we will try to get around to it as soon as possible, but Doc is breathing down my neck to get something else done, so you will just have to be patient!: -R Recursively make coffee until all resources are exhausted. -a Generate aroma only. -l The same as -n except slower. -d Brew decaf. Will not operate before 10:30 am. -n The same as -l -j Use Jamaica Blue Mountain primo special. This can only be executed by coffeadmin. -r Reverse the order of brewing to get newest first or oldest first as appropriate. -v Execute the vgrind(1) program before proceeding for a fresher brew. EXAMPLES ncp -ldm NOW! Make lots of coffee now! FILES /etc/grinder /etc/filter SEE ALSO tee(1), coke(1), sync(1). NOTES The ncm command may be used as a filter. For more information see the "Making Good Coffee" section of Chapter 10 of the Kitchen Administrator's Guide. BUGS Ick. I hope not.