Date: Mon, 08 Dec 1997 09:57:45 -0500
From: Matteo Schmill 
Subject: Last MMC of semester!

You read it right, folks. Today, December 8, at 10am, in the computer
science lounge, right out in broad daylight, will be the last Monday
Morning Coffee of the semester. Be sure to stop down and eat extra
donuts and drink many gallons of coffee so you'll stay fresh until the
next MMC.

And don't forget to say "thanks" to the MMC collective for a semester's
worth of Monday Morning Fuel.

                           The Task:
                        GO TO THE STORE

MS-DOS (<=5.0):  You get in the car and try to remember where you 
                 put your keys.

MS Dos 6.0:  You go to get in your car to GOTO THE STORE but the car has
been run over by a steam roller.

Windows: You get in the car and drive to the store very slowly,
because attached to the back of the car is a freight train.

Windows NT:  You get in the car and write a letter that says
"go to the store."  Then you get out of the car and mail
the letter to your dashboard.

Macintosh System 7:  You get in the car to go to the store,
and the car drives you to church.

UNIX:  You get in the car and type GREP STORE.  After reaching
speeds of 200 miles per hour en route, you arrive at the barber shop.

Taligent/Pink:  You walk to the store with Ricardo Montalban,
who tells you how wonderful it will be when he can fly you
to the store in his Learjet.

OS/2:  After fueling up with 6000 gallons of gas, you get in the
car and drive to the store with a motorcycle escort and a
marching band in procession. Halfway there, the car blows up,
killing everybody in town.

S/36 SSP [mainframe, obv.]:  You get in the car and drive to
the store.  Halfway there you run out of gas.  While
walking the rest of the way, you are run over by kids
on mopeds.

AS/400:  An attendant locks you into the car and then drives you
to the store, where you get to watch everybody else buy fillet mignons.