From: (Message Meister)
Date: Mon, 20 Nov 1995 09:55:01 -0500 (EST)

Good morning. Coffee, doughnuts, bagels, cream cheese, galore, at the lounge.

              What's in a name? That which we call a rose
              By any other name would smell as sweet.

Not always. A consequence of last week's carafe disaster was that the usual
mapping of coffee to vessels had to be redefined. Thus, a carafe labeled
"decaf" really had "medium" in it.  Two lessons: (a) Pour coffee from thermos!
NO touch carafe. Carafe=Czar, OK?  (2) Caffeine is a powerful drug(*):

 "Productivity Off-the-Charts at Computer Science; Dean said 'Very Impressed'"

 "Disgruntled Grad Student on Caffeine OD Strangles Advisor with Mouse Cord"

    "Lengthy Take Home Exam and Extra Caffeine Blamed for Student Revolt"

 "Caffeine Blamed on Prestigious Professor's Prank Calls to NSF Grants Office"

Therefore, we have to issue the following...

DISCLAIMER: Neither the University of Massachusetts nor its trustees, agents, 
or proxymorons, nor past, present or potential, paid or unpaid, members of the 
coffee collective (hereinafter "We") are connected, responsible or otherwise
liable for injuries, pain, bugs, pain, damages, etc., incidental, correlated,
pursuant, relative, etc., to participation, physical or virtual proximity, or
even awareness of, the event commonly known as "Monday Morning Coffee"("MMC"),
whether it takes place in or around Our premises, in or around what is commonly
understood to be "Monday" by Us. You may have other rights in other states, 
but We are not telling You; besides, this is Massachusetts. So there.

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(*) Suggested by Rajesh Prabhu.