From: James Davis
Subject: Monday Mourning--A Tragedy in One Act
Date: Mon, 1 Oct 2001 09:56:55 -0400 (EDT)
Reply-To: jdavis@cs.umass.edu
To: monday-morning-coffee@cs.umass.edu, jdavis@cs.umass.edu, ash@cs.umass.edu
Save yourself the time--bottom line, coffee in 5.
If you've got time to kill:
This Monday Morning Coffee message is brought to you live, or
almost live. In fact, if 9:55 rolls around or the cops break
down my door before I finish, I'll have to send it off as is and
complete the message later.
1 am Monday morning (written at 9.41):
Set alarm for 7:30. Turn fan on super-high-tornado speed in
order to white-noise away the sounds of running gun battles on
the street below, the screams of some poor animal that I can only
assume my neighbor must be sacrificing (there've been far fewer
squirrels around since he moved in), and the incessant pounding
of euro-noise from the Nightclub next door. (you know I'm
exaggerating now--there are no nightclubs in Northampton).
9 am Monday morning (written at 9.45)
(subtitle: a time for remembrance and realization)
Wake up refreshed, wondering why. Realize it's 9. Remember
10am meeting. Remember setting alarm. Strain to hear faint
beeping through the super-high-tornado fan-speed-noise. Realize
alarm has been going off for two hours, unheard due to afore
mentioned white noise. Realize magnitude of error (small
really, relative to the magnitude if I had a real job, such as
nuclear-plant-melt-down-preventer on a Monday morning shift).
Jump in shower. Jump out of shower
(having showered in-betwixt the two events). Realize I have
no time for breakfast. Remember with great relief (relief to
my stomach anyway) that there will be breakfast provided by the
great and good Monday morning coffee. Realize that I should
have written a Monday morning coffee message sometime before
right now. Look at clock . . .
9.15 am (written at 9.49)
Race across bride. Must deliver Monday morning message. How
else would any of the 3 people on the list know that it's time
for Monday morning coffee (except, of course, for the whole
"it's Monday morning" thing). Exceed speed limit (and, almost,
sound barrier).
9.35 am (written at 9.50)
Pick up police pursuit. Ha. Nothing my Toyota corolla can't
handle.
9.20 am (written at 9.51)
Run into CS building, hoping to lose the cops whilst they search
for their key cards.
9.41 am (written at 9.52)
Begin letter.
And we converge here at 9.53. 2 minutes till message delivery.
If you do see the authorities. Please send me email, and tell
them Robbie Moll is the only guy you know who drives a red
corolla station wagon.
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