This morning, Physical Plant decided to perform routine maintenance
operations outside the fourteenth floor of the Lederle Graduate
Research Tower.  To improve public perception of the Physical Plant
they decided to use a "space-walk" approach a la the space shuttle.
This strategy backfired, however, as no one remembered to consider the
pull of earth's gravity, and a worker plunged to his death shortly
after hopping off the roof.  A spokesperson for Physical Plant said,
"Even I wouldn't have been that stupid."

The baseball season opens today, Mets play Phillies, Sox play Blue Jays.