To: monday-morning-coffee@thor.cs.umass.edu
Subject: Coffee in 5 minutes!
Date: Mon, 25 Feb 2002 09:55:01 -0500
From: Allison T Clayton
Buenos tacos, buttercups! It's Monday again (every seven days, it seems), and
in the main lobby is the usual offering to the gods of computer science.
Since the computer science gods won't be joining us today, you should feel
free to waltz on down the stairs toward their feast. Bagels and donuts grace
the table and are supplemented by coffee, the nectar of the cs-gods. Sadly, I
should inform you that, should all seminars go according to schedule, there
will be no MMC until at least March 25, after the Break of Springtime. So get
your five day week started out on the up-and-up! Join us in precisely five
minutes!
Addendum: In order to better serve the community, it has been suggested that
we become multicultural. To this point, I shall finish this portion of the
email in spanish. Hoy esta un dia de feliz! Te gusta beber cafe! Tenemos
mucha cafe y mas comida en el edificio que una llama tiene dentistas. En tu
casa esta un oso! Corra! Corra!
---------------
[Begin Latin mood-music]
Today's journey is to the remote location of Jav, a village buried deep in the
South American jungles. Ivana K. Offee has, again, caught an earlier flight
than we, and we are told she is waiting anxiously with big news of Dr. Cal
Feene. Upon our arrival, Ivana explains that as she deplaned earlier an
envelope with an enclosed map was handed to her. We all study the map and
conclude that it is, indeed, a treasure map with Dr. Feene's signature at the
bottom. We wonder what the treasure could be or what connections Dr. Feene
has to this place.
The next morning we rise early to meet our guide, Kareem N. Shuga, who will
lead us through the jungles of Jav, according to our map. As we brave the
foliage and wetness of this tropic, we find all sorts of creatures that
probably want to kill us (if we're lucky they've stopped M.W.H. Sanka,
already); it is amazing that Dr. Feene was able to make it this far alone.
Carved into a tree ahead, just like our map says, we see the cryptic symbols
C8H10N4O2 - we are on the right track. Kareem N. Shuga says that he has seen
a man matching Dr. Feene's description, and that this man spent a lot of time
asking about the Crossings of the Small, Black Uakari (SBUX). Soon we reach
SBUX, a crowded jungle that feels like it could take over the world, and our
map informs us that we are at the end of the line.
Ivana notices a large moss-covered rock to our left that seems to have an
opening under the moss for a crawl space. As usual, she is correct, and
inside the rock's crawl space we find a pirate-looking treasure chest. It's a
good thing Dr. Feene is stereotypical in his buried treasures. Upon request,
Kareem N. Shuga finds a large stick, and we are able to pry the chest open.
Inside are newspaper clippings upon newspaper clippings from the Times. They
all seem to be from the Business section, and certain stocks are highlighted
with their symbols cut out of the paper. It appears our Dr. Feene is quite
the buisness man.
NEWSPAPER: HIGHLIGHTED STOCKS:
-------------
ENTERASYS NETWORKS INC (NYSE)
ROUGE INDUSTRIES CL A (NYSE)
LEE ENTERPRISES (NYSE)
AOL TIME WARNER INC (NYSE)
NORTHERN TECHNOL INTL (AMEX)
U.S. INDUSTRIES (NYSE)
HOUSEHOLD INTL CORP (NYSE)
TRIO-TECH INTL (AMEX)
--------------
What could it mean? Ivana digs into her backpack to find some donuts and
leaves us to go munching.
--------------
Archived puzzles are located at http://www.cs.umass.edu/~allison/puzzles/
Cheers and bagels!
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