Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 16:00:52 -0400 (EDT) Reply-To: email@example.com Greetings. Next Monday is a helliday so most people have the day off. The MMC Collective is far from being composed of 'most' people, but it takes holidays seriously. That means: no MM Coffee on Monday, but on *Tuesday* instead. In the meantime, here's a voicemail message for next holiday Monday. ------- RING . . . (*) RING . . . CLICK (endearing recorded voice): "Welcome to UMass Mental Health." o If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press <1> repeatedly. o If you are codependent, please ask someone to press <2>. o If you have multiple personalities, please press <3>,<4>,<5> and <6>. o If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call. o If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. o If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer. ------ This ECB (Emergency Coffee Bulletin) brought to you by ... The Government of Cuba: Celebrating Thirty-five years of unsuccessfully trying to sell sugar to America. The Internet Addiction 12 Step Program: http://aa.onemore.org ... and by coffee drinkers like you. (*) Credits: Mostly appeared on the Net, Author Unknown.