Date: Mon, 11 Sep 2000 10:27:29 -0400 (EDT)
From: Paul Dickson 
To: broadcast@cs.umass.edu
Subject: You are now entering the Java Zone 

(warning, this massage has been delayed because cron failed to send the
message this morning.. so with no further ado)

There comes a time in every man's life when he is forced to make a decision, a
decision which could change the very course of his life. A turning point if
you will. If he goes down one path he will inevitably face the monday of every
week with bleary eyes and a lack of connection to his fellow man. If he should
chose the other path though, more possibilities will open for him. He will
have the possibility to see a brighter world, and to experience lectures he
would otherwise have slept through. Should he choose this path he will he will
get to meet other people within his department.

This is the choice I give to you. On the one hand you can stay in your lab
never leaving to see the outside world. On the other hand you can come on down
to the first floor lobby and get yourself some coffee, the finest the coffee
csars have to offer for a small amount of money. If this second option is the
one for you then send off an e-mail now to majordomo with the words subscribe
monday-morning-coffee in the body right now, before you read on, so that you
can get these coffee updates every week.

And now start playing your Jock James cd's because it is time to introduce the
allstar team

We start our team with Marc "Mr. Percilater" Pickett and Andrew "Starbucks
worst nightmare" Arnt get'n you the black elixer of morning as the coffee
czars.

Makeing their job possible is Pippin "the lean mean bean machine" Peregrine
Wolf, the bean burgher.

Keeping you stomach happy is Kat "The Real Slim Shady" Hanna, I've gotta
digress here for a moment, we've been seeing for years all of those dunkin
domuts camercials which feature the mustached guy as the one who makes all of
the donuts. Well the rumar I've just heard passed around is that he's just an
actor put in for PR because the real person Kat, or Slim as those of us in the
know call her, wasn't the image that they wanted to put forward. Sitting as I
am here in the both I've gotta say I think that was a mistake on their part
because She more than fills the shoes of her role as Donut Duchess.

Rounding out our team is Jeniffer "Pass the loches" Neville. She fills the
stomachs of all those who can't handle what the Duchess is serving, by playing
the role of Bagel Baroness.

And finaly who am I, I'm Paul "Paul" Dickson. I provide the wake up call for
all of you with the words...

Coffee is served
(fade to black)