From JMCCARTHY@cs.umass.EDU Mon Feb 11 10:59:36 1991

And, if you're a grad student and enjoy our Monday Morning spread,
you can join the Coffee Collective and be part of the team.
Be sure to come to the grad student elections this Friday!
[Message by Jay Corbett]

To brew, or not to brew, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the morn' to suffer
The drowse and yawnings of outrageous hours
Or to take drugs against a sea of languor
And by consuming wake up. To sleep--in class--
To snore; and by a snore to say we end 
The boredom, and the thousand trivial facts
Our field is heir to. Is a computation
Devoutly to be wished? To sleep--in class.
To dream--perhaps of life: ay, there's the rub!
For in that life outside what things may come
When we have finished with this bookish toil,
Must give us pause. To so reflect
On the calamity of future strife. 
For who would bear the ``theories'' of AI,
The professor's wrong, the loud fans (GRC),
The drudgery of systems, the comps,
The theorist's "Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh" ,
When he himself might four times as much make
At Microsoft? What would these students bear?
To grunt and sweat over such a trifle,
But that the dread of something after graduation--
The implementor's country, from whose wealth
Few graduates return--bothers us still,
And makes us rather sit in class awake
Rather than fly to jobs we know not of. 
Thus caffeine doth make cowards of us all.