The World According to Computer Science
or What I Learned While Studying for the Comps

- What is the meaning of life?
Theory:  nlogn
Systems: the C programming Language
AI:      My conference paper explains everything

- What is the worst thing about Computer Science?
Theory:  AI
Systems: AI & VMS (tie)
AI:      Other people's AI

- What is your house made out of?
Theory:  Notebook Paper, pencils, rubber-mate erasers, infinite-length tapes.
Systems: Discarded IBM 360's, tape drives, line printer paper.
AI:      Blocks.

- Represent this sentence: 'The man went to the store'
Theory:  #The man went to the store####################...infinite #'s...###
Systems: "The man went to the store\0"
AI:      >> Error:
         >> In function PARSER::PARSE-THE-SENTENCE
         >> The value of S, NIL, should be a Structure
         >> If continued: Try evaluating S again.

- Security is a big problem in Computer Science.  How would you establish
  unbreakable codes?
Theory:  Zero-knowledge proofs, public-key cryptography.
Systems: To ensure security, keep building new systems continuously.
AI:      Common LISP Format statements.

- What's your biggest fear?
Theory:  To die without realizing it.
Systems: To die away from the terminal.
AI:      To get a paper rejected from AAAI, and then not die.

- It is important to...
Theory:  Remember the little things, like putting your pants on and
         filling your gas tank.
Systems: Make sure you do your equality comparisons with == instead of =.
AI:      Keep a list of goofy program names in your wallet so you can name
         your new system at a moment's notice.

- Bad programming style is...
Theory:  Writing a program.
Systems: Writing a program that doesn't work.
AI:      Writing a program for a system which doesn't get published.

- Methodology is...
Theory:  A word ending in "ology".
Systems: A word ending in "dology".
AI:      A noun.

- Does P = NP ?
Theory:  I don't know.
Systems: No.
AI:      Yes.