The World According to Computer Science or What I Learned While Studying for the Comps - What is the meaning of life? Theory: nlogn Systems: the C programming Language AI: My conference paper explains everything - What is the worst thing about Computer Science? Theory: AI Systems: AI & VMS (tie) AI: Other people's AI - What is your house made out of? Theory: Notebook Paper, pencils, rubber-mate erasers, infinite-length tapes. Systems: Discarded IBM 360's, tape drives, line printer paper. AI: Blocks. - Represent this sentence: 'The man went to the store' Theory: #The man went to the store####################...infinite #'s...### Systems: "The man went to the store\0" AI: >> Error: >> In function PARSER::PARSE-THE-SENTENCE >> The value of S, NIL, should be a Structure >> If continued: Try evaluating S again. - Security is a big problem in Computer Science. How would you establish unbreakable codes? Theory: Zero-knowledge proofs, public-key cryptography. Systems: To ensure security, keep building new systems continuously. AI: Common LISP Format statements. - What's your biggest fear? Theory: To die without realizing it. Systems: To die away from the terminal. AI: To get a paper rejected from AAAI, and then not die. - It is important to... Theory: Remember the little things, like putting your pants on and filling your gas tank. Systems: Make sure you do your equality comparisons with == instead of =. AI: Keep a list of goofy program names in your wallet so you can name your new system at a moment's notice. - Bad programming style is... Theory: Writing a program. Systems: Writing a program that doesn't work. AI: Writing a program for a system which doesn't get published. - Methodology is... Theory: A word ending in "ology". Systems: A word ending in "dology". AI: A noun. - Does P = NP ? Theory: I don't know. Systems: No. AI: Yes.