Date: Tue, 10 Oct 1995 09:53:22 -0400 (EDT)

Greetings.  Today, Tuesday, is this week's monday morning coffee day.
Rude awakening yesterday for those who sleepily made their way in,
only to find a deserted and coffee-less lounge. Sorry.

--- From the Archives, an old grant proposal ---

Project: An Expansion of Her Royal Majesty Isabel's trade and domains. 

Abstract: We propose to find an optimal route to underdeveloped sources of
raw material and possibly real estate.  We use an unconventional but highly
promising approach, pushing the (world's) edge of the state of the art. We
expect payoffs both in basic science (Biology, Astronomy), and technology.
Most importantly, we expect sizable benefits for Her Majesty's Treasury in
enhanced tax revenue, spice trade, and tourism.

Principal Investigator: Don Cristoforo Colombo, City-State of Genova.

Infrastructure Requirements: three to five Santa Maria-class vessels, with
two months of food supplies. Suitable supplies of trading materials (min.
220 lb of colored glass beads).  Cages, plant pots. Whips & chains for HR.

Personnel Needs: Three to five sailing project leaders, posdoctoral or at
least First Mate level, to be recruited at Puerto de Palos. Graduate
students (several dozen) for both sailing and on-site development efforts;
alternatively, labor from Her Majesty's overcrowded prisons can be used.

Funding: Self-funded (loot), soft loans against Her Majesty's jewelry.

Contributions to Industry: New materials, navigation techniques. See App.

*First Phase.  Proof of Concept - Demonstration of World's Rotundity:
 Chicken (or Hen's) Egg standing up by itself (crushed bottom)[1,2].
*Second Phase. Actual Landing in Orient:
 Insertion of cross-handled sword prototype at beach. Claim Sovereignity.
*Third Phase.  Validation of Results & Return:
 Collection of Samples for Trade; Spices [4], Minerals, Plants, Animals.
 "Encounter" with Foreign Dignataries. Sample of said dignataries captured
 and returned to the Funding Agency, contingent on military situation.
* Fourth Phase.  All Glory & Honor to The Almighty and Her Majesty!

[1] Aquinas, T., St. Cogitatio: Ovum Erectum ad Tabula Impossibilum. (1273)
[2] Aristotle. De Natura Ab Absurdo Flatum Wordlus Est. (trans. Cicero, -52)
[3] Nordfsen, Urgh: Wir Navigater Westenn Und Returnarem Haus Zu! (ca. 1120) 
[4] HariharaChandruSubramanRajuToo: ? (0, i.e. Zero)