From JMCCARTHY@cs.umass.EDU Mon Dec 3 12:23:03 1990 By popular demand, we have increased our bagel supply to 4 dozen this week, plus 4 choices of spreads ... plus the usual 3 dozen donuts and plenty of coffee. Come on down! (I usually leave things out 'til 1:00, so you can come back for more.) Joe. [And now some words from our MMC Messager, Jay Corbett:] This week: Our own distinguished professor Orif Barrubgtib has discovered one of the lost dialogs of Plato, related to The Crito and The Phaedo, which I feel is relevant to our Monday morning activity. For your edification, I shall reproduce a section below. THE EXPRESSO by Plato Lobotomos: Is it true, Socrates, that the decaffeinated life is not worth living? Socrates: Not only is it true, Lobotomos, but upon careful reflection it is patent. For is not reason the foundation of virtue? Lobotomos: Certainly, Socrates. Socrates: And without virtue, there would be no reason. Lobotomos: Of course, Socrates. Socrates: And reason requires wakefulness. Lobotomos: No one could possibly deny it, Socrates. Socrates: And it is quite impossible to be truly awake on a Monday morning without caffeine. Lobotomos: How truly you speak, Socrates. Socrates: Thus virtue ergo reason needs wakefulness via caffeine. Q.E.D. Lobotomos: I see now that must certainly be the case, Socrates.