To: monday-morning-coffee@thor.cs.umass.edu
Subject: Coffee in 5 minutes!
Date: Mon, 08 Apr 2002 09:55:02 -0400
From: Allison T Clayton 

Monday Morning Coffee is now offered seven days a week!

I'm only kidding.  But take the excitement you just mustered up and apply
 it to the following statement: Monday Morning Coffee will now be served 
*weekly*, no longer contingent on faculty candidates and department seminars.  
After much deliberation, it was deemed that, though fabulously delicious,
department cookies are simply Not a substitute for all the goodness that 
bagels and donuts offer.  To celebrate, this week Dr. Cal Feene's Puzzle is 
preempted by other musings:

------------------
--Ode on a Bagel--

Bagels are not cubes or squares,
But you can eat them anywhere.
Portable is their fine lure,
Constructed with an aperture.

There's space not only for cream cheese,
But lox or jelly, if you please.
Cold or toasted, warm or hot,
Incompliant, they are not.

Bagels are quite nice, it's true,
But did you know that they love you?
They sit there nicely on your plate.
They'll still be waiting if you're late

Unless your little brother comes
And, using both his handy thumbs,
Steals your bagel from its rest,
And clutching it close to his chest

Runs down the hall and through the door.
You'll see that bagel nevermore.
"Bring back that bagel NOW," you cry.
Beyond that, you don't even try,

Because you know the tragic truth,
And he is not a super-sleuth.
He'll get that bagel to his room,
And once he's there, he'll meet his doom.

So calmly you sit down to munch.
You'll certainly enjoy this brunch
When you hear the misled boy
Scream, "*That* bagel was a doggie toy!"

-----------------
Cheers and Bagels!


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