From: James DavisSubject: Oh my lord. Look at you. Date: Mon, 10 Dec 2001 11:55:00 -0500 (EST) Reply-To: jdavis@cs.umass.edu To: monday-morning-coffee@cs.umass.edu, jdavis@cs.umass.edu, ash@cs.umass.edu Short version: coffee in atrium in 5. Say thanks to the coffee pimps. It might be their last week (noooooo!) Long version: So it's come to this. One week left--Finals, papers, advisors demanding results and stuff. And look at you. You've got nothing left to give. You've used the same graphs in the last three meetings. You tried turning them upside down, but the axis labels gave you away. You still have 12 VIP tapes to watch. Clever plan, wasn't it, to skip class and watch the tapes in the comfort of your own home. Oh, and don't forget that oil change you've been putting off since July. And then there's your (C)haunakka/Christmas/Kwanzaa/ Festivus/3-kings-day/Winter-solstace/What-have-you (that should be a holiday--sort of all-encompassing) shopping left to do. Face it, your screwed. Maybe. Just maybe. If you started now, and didn't eat, drink or sleep for the next 240 hours (10 of your earth-days), you'd be able to--whoah, wait a sec! Drink. You'll need to drink. Something. Yes. Yes, you *can* pull this off. But it will require the aid of your friend-tormenter coffee. Are you willing to make that deal? Bow down to coffee and you will be spared. Refuse the goodwill of coffee and you will be destroyed (or at least you'll fall asleep and not finish all your work). No no. You're strong. You don't need coffee. You can keep . . . coding . . . Sleep . . . . . . . . . . . . . is for the . . . . . . . . . . . . . weak . . . . sleeeeeep . . . . . zzzzzzzzzzzz Oh god! You lost an hour. And you've got keyboard face. And you've got 14000 lines of bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb in your emacs buffer. Face it. You can't. You can't do it on your own. Go. Get your quarter. Get your cup. Follow your shackles to the source. Out the door. Down the stairs. The atrium. Just one more hit, Daniel. You got my @#$%in' quarter, man? Yeah, yeah, it's right here. Just give me the coffee. All right. I'm quittin' after this one. This is all I need. I just can't plot graphs when I'm shakin'. After this one, I'm done. Sure you are, man, sure you are. See you soon. --------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------- CONTRIBUTIONS: Mail to mmc@unreal.cs.umass.edu UNSUBSCRIBE: Send "unsubscribe monday-morning-coffee" to majordomo@cs.umass.edu PROBLEMS: Report to owner-monday-morning-coffee@cs.umass.edu TO SUBSCRIBE: Send "subscribe monday-morning-coffee" to majordomo@cs.umass.edu