From: Jad "/dev/null" Davis 
Subject: Freeze! Breeze in Threes to Greedily Seize Free Tea, Please!
Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2000 10:36:19 -0500 (EST)
Reply-To: jdavis@cs.umass.edu
To: social@cs.umass.edu, jdavis@cs.umass.edu

Do you think it's coincidence that the "department" (nix on the "grad" say
the censors that be) tea is essentially the closing event of the Thursday
workday?  It's not.  Think about it.  When do we (impoverished grad students
anyway) get paid?  That's right, Friday is mo' money day.  So you get your
money on Friday, after taking out for rent, insurance, car payment,
child care, recreational drugs (I'm talkin' coffee and cigarettes here 
people!), pumping up your investment portfolio, utilities, and paying
the state and federal governments for their excellent and efficient services,
you've got (roughly) 22.75 for a weeks worth of food.  OK, so you drink
half of that on the weekend (along with alot of the rent money).  Luckily,
if you do the drinking right, you can get away with not eating all weekend.
Then on Monday you get Taco Bell or the fast food equivalent.  That's 3 bucks
gone.  Tuesday and Wednesday, you might even go shopping and feast on pasta
and bargain bin bread.  That about does it for money.  If you're lucky, there's
a faculty candidate or distinguished lecture and you can stuff your pockets
with whatever food is available--ever wonder why grad students wear big bulky
jackets even when it's warm out?  In any case, by Thursday, you're broke.  
Money isn't coming for 24 hours, but, as we all know, you'll make it.  Thursday
"department" tea is there for you.  Watch as grown men and women pack their
cheeks full of Keebler elf and tollhouse cookies like foraging squirrels. 
Building up fat for free whenever possible is how the student survives harsh
winters and long sustained fasts.  

Point being . . . well there is no point really.  Just come down and enjoy
watching (professors/staff) or participating (starving grad students) in 
the critical last provisioning point of the week.  As always, dept. T will
take place at 4pm in the multi-purpose room.


The architects and implementors of this week's department tea are Eliot Moss,
Chip Weems, Kathryn McKinley and the battlin' Architecture and Language 
Implementation Lab (or some subset thereof).
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